Seven questions for writing a thank-you note to yourself

I wrote my first thank-you to myself on the back of an electricity bill, at ten at night, with a ballpoint pen that was nearly out of ink. The ink came in fits and starts, and my handwriting was worse than usual.

As I picked up the pen, two voices started up in my head.

"Thank myself? That sounds so cheesy."

"Sure, cheesy. Who is going to see it?"

I am twenty-seven and I work as a graphic designer at a small company. I am used to thanking other people: clients, colleagues, the building guard. With myself, I am only used to reminding myself of what is not done yet. The seven questions below are the ones I used that night, rearranged from light to deep.

This is not meant to make you feel wonderful about yourself, and you do not need to write well. It is just for writing, or not writing, depending on your evening. If you want something lighter, you could start with three lines of gratitude each evening.

Before you write

• No one reads this but you.
• Write by hand if you can, or in a note on your phone.
• Do not try to write well. Misspellings are fine.
• Any question you are not ready for, skip it, come back later or never come back.

A corner of a table, a cup of tea or water, half an hour when no one calls. You do not have to answer all seven in one evening. If you only get two done, two is enough.

Seven questions

1. What small thing did I finish today that no one knows about?

Hint: A glass washed, a message answered on time. The smaller the better, because small is where I overlook the most.

2. This past week, when did I get up even though I badly wanted to stay lying down?

Hint: Maybe a Monday morning, or a call I dreaded. Just write what that moment looked like, what you heard, what was in your hand.

3. What can I do now that I did not know how to do five years ago?

Hint: Cooking a dish, saying a single no, reading a map, or just sitting alone without feeling lost. It does not have to be something anyone else can see.

4. Was there a time I said "this is enough" to something that wore me out?

Hint: It need not be big: leaving a group chat, declining an invitation. If there has been no such time, write: I have not managed that yet, and I am learning.

5. Is there an old decision of mine that still feels right to me today?

Hint: It might be a choice few people understood. Write my reasons at the time, with no need for anyone to agree.

6. If the me of three years ago could see me today, what would they want to say?

Hint: Maybe a short line like "hey, not bad". Or maybe an apology for being so hard on me back then.

7. Is there something I still cannot thank myself for, because I feel regret or anger about it?

Hint: No need to force it. You could just write: I am not ready, and that is fine. Not being ready is also a true answer.

That night I only managed five answers and left the seventh blank. I folded the electricity bill, tucked it into my sketchbook, and went to wash my cup. Weeks later I read a piece about talking to yourself like a best friend, and I realized that scrap of paper had already done part of that job.

If writing feels heavy

Some people feel lighter after writing, some feel irritated, some feel sad, and some feel nothing at all. Any of these can happen. If writing a thank-you to yourself only brings up the sound of self-criticism, just fold the paper, go drink a glass of water, and leave it. It is not going anywhere. But if a heavy feeling, sadness, or a sense that you do not deserve thanks lasts for weeks, please do not carry it alone: talk to a professional.

If you think about hurting yourself, even if it is only a passing thought, speak with someone you trust today. The Emergency Support page explains what holds true in moments like that.

Thank you for giving a little table space and a little time to yourself today.

This article was created with AI assistance.