The Cold Tea on My Desk

Late on the last afternoon of the month I sat closing orders until six, and when I looked up there was a cup of tea gone completely cold beside the keyboard. I had made it at nine that morning. I am twenty-nine, I manage orders for a small online shop, and that was the third cup that week I had made and forgotten to drink.

That day I wrote these lines in the corner of my notebook. Here they are copied out.

I make the tea in the morning,
then forget.
By afternoon I find it again,
long gone cold.

A thin skin on the water,
leaves sunk to the bottom,
like the things I meant to do.

I said yes
to ten things.
Only the drinking of tea
never got its turn.

My hands keep typing.
The cup keeps standing there,
asking for nothing.

Tonight I pour it again,
a little,
hot.
Drink slowly.

The poem is short, so let me add a little. A cold cup of tea is not a sign of anything. It is just something I use to look back: on any day there is a cold cup on my desk, that day I left behind the smallest thing that was only mine so I could do ten things for other people. And what surprises me is that the cup asks for nothing. It just stands there, not blaming, not reminding.

I am not writing this to tell you to drink tea. Some people do not like tea. Your cup may be a glass of plain water, or an iced milk coffee whose ice has melted into a pale brown water. Whichever cup is yours is yours. If you notice you are also leaving behind small things like that all day long, try cleaning your desk at the end of the day for one more place to pause, or to myself on the days I cannot be strong for when you only need someone to say that not being strong is allowed.

Tonight, if the tea on your desk has gone cold, that is all right. Pour it out and make another, or leave it standing a little longer. It is still beside you.

When to seek professional support

This article is a short poem and one small thing to do with a cup. It cannot replace treatment, and I am not promising a cup of hot tea will make the exhaustion pass.

But here are a few signs you should bring to a professional, rather than carrying them alone:

• You forget to eat, forget to drink, forget even the basic ways of caring for yourself for weeks, not just a few days
• Tiredness lasting many weeks despite resting, or with dizziness, a racing heart or shortness of breath: see a doctor to rule out physical causes
• Everything feels flat, you do not want to see anyone, or eating and sleeping are thrown off, for many weeks
• You think about hurting yourself, even if it is just a passing thought

The last point cannot wait. Speak with someone you trust, today. The Emergency Support page explains what holds true in moments like that.

Seeing a professional is ordinary, like going to a doctor when the body says it is tired and you do not yet know why.